Wanna cry. Should I give up?

So I am about to cry again

Long time no see huh

Can’t find consolation anywhere

Gotta give up on my best friend for a position I gave her

She just did not meet up my expectations

Or maybe am I just such a perfectionist?

I am really stressed

I am really confused

I wanna give up

Do something more valuable

Instead of wasting others’ time

But why?

I remember the quote

When you’re about to give up

Think about why you started

I started with no further thought for myself

But at the end of the day

A club needs good orientation

I feel the pressure on my shoulders now

So I did think I did my best

It’s that I don’t have good partners

 

Or am I just such a bad leader

So I am reading books

I am making surveys

I am making plans

I am talking to them more

What else works

When I need someone to support me

There seems to be no good option

 

Anyway I won’t put down my standards any further

Thanks my core team members for having been supported me

At least you guys stayed

And did not give me the cold shoulders

I started it

So I would be responsible for this club

As a mother to her beloved child

 

Just please take all of this stress out of my head

Tired

And bored

And discouraged

All negative feelings

Can’t you just go away

Somewhere far away from this cold place

Feeling lonely but still preferring alone

It’s just me

 

Work hard

My next goal: Be in Japan for the OJT – on-job training

Gotta be great experience there

Can’t wait to go there

 

Kill me…

Seems like I don’t handle stress very well huh

 

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