Why do I end up here, again? I thought it would never end up like this. But it does.
My first year at college was all fun and happiness. But now I don’t feel connected with my friends, again.
My so-called best friends turn out to be not understanding me at all, as always.
So sure, we are not best friends.
I feel like no matter how hard I try, the good things I do just never get acknowledged as much as the so-called selfish thing that I am moving out.
I just miss my sister, Ms Y. Another INFJ.
My friend denies any coldness or eye evasion.
But my intuition is not as stupid as I am.
I deep down believe that I am sensitive and I do care about building long-lasting relationship.
The reason I am moving out is that I don’t feel the connection and sharing of opinions.
I love study and need stillness.
My friends love talking and stuff.
Just not a good match, simple as that.
Ok, I talked about sacrificing.
Sure, I move out, I got fewer friends, fewer happy moments compared to the time when I am inside the campus.
That’s just true.
And Now I am just tired of everything, of explaining and stuff.
And after that people just say, you are overthinking.
Now I know I am not overthinking, okay.
Don’t make me feel like I am just a careless and selfish girl.
I DO know about my emotions
I am just tired, can’t focus on anything.
And I am sad too.
I feel the distance
I feel the coldness
I am not asking any of you to treat me well
My best friend is now my best friend’s best friend.
Am I jealous? I am not sure, but at least they don’t feel empty when I am not there
And I am not like, leaving forever.
I am not irreplaceable, right?
Just let it be, treat me as normal
Oh or that’s something I don’t have right to ask now
Now I understand why I am in the 1% of population.
I hate being misunderstood.
And you all are
I am careless, I don’t understand you guys
But you know what, you don’t understand me too
Not even trying to console me
And I am crying in stillness, again
What a long day
I hate running people down
Can’t deny I am doing this
I do value my core values, so
Maybe another INFJ is the best
Will I ever getting in this situation again?
I am losing a lot,
For my freedom
Ready to go
Thanks for giving a reason to
From now on, Emily will be strong
Not for today
I am just feeling so much guilty
What’s wrong with you, girl
I need a psychologist
I need a lover now
Who KNOWS me
Ms Y, you are the only one who supports my going out
I am not saying that to blame you if things ever go wrong
It’s just that I want to say thankyou
And I know, I’m fully responsible for this
Thanks for giving the courage to do what I think is just in time for me
I’m not that important to you guys, so don’t miss me
Just live and let live
Why make me cry like this
I am really out of breath now
Really want a sleep but can’t stop thinking
Now I just have to believe in myself
When nobody else does
Life was never easy as it seems
For a sensitive girl
I detest being sensitive
Mom, why can’t you just bear me on a hot Summer day
You are crazy
Yes, I am
The fact that I am talking to my best friend – word
Is a stupid but soul-relieving action
I am in love with the shape of you
The versatility of you
Oh kill me
Can’t now matter how hard I try
I am just a person who lives so innately
Emotions get over me so well
I just got one friend that I want to talk to now
But can’t just open messenger to answer to others
Just not in the mood
So wait until tomorrow
Hopefully I can get to her